Saturday, January 13, 2007

I had no idea

While I was pregnant, I tried to resist the baby marketing machine and what it told me I "needed." Now, six weeks into parenthood, I'm starting to get a clear picture of what I actually need.

You don't need a bunch of plastic crap to entertain an infant who can't see very far or even in full color. They prefer to look at your face, your plaid couch, the dark clock on a white wall, the dog, the cat, the white wall, the mesh on his bassinet and swing. You don't need fancy outfits that the kid will just puke all over, just a bunch of hand-me-down wash and wear cotton outfits. You don't even need baby soap, which has some of the same ingredients as adult soap. Just get a bar or two of Ivory soap. The kid probably won't even go through an entire bar in six months.

Here's a partial list of what I actually need in abundance:

  • Burp clothes: Luckily, a friend at work who is also a mom thought to get me a ton of burp clothes.

  • Baby clothes: Before baby arrived, I thought, "How much clothing could this little guy possibly need?" It's not like he'll be going out on the town. This kid spits up and out (and I mean UP and OUT) quite often. He changes outfits more in one day than a Vegas lounge singer.

  • Clothes for Mommy: I get spit up on regularly and often have to change my clothes two or three times a day. And I don't have a lot that fits me right now.

  • Baby socks: If you thought keeping track of adult socks in the wash was hard, try keeping track of socks that are only two inches long.

  • Laundry detergent: It seems like I do a load of laundry just about every day.

  • Patience: A friend once told me not to ever pray to God for patience because you'd get pregnant. Trying to soothe a crying infant takes a lot of patience. Patience is handy when your baby wants to nurse for a half hour or so and you have to go to the bathroom and could really use a glass of water.

A Jimmy Joke

Last night, Jim was furiously shaking his foot. I looked over and asked "What's wrong?"

His foot had fallen asleep. He said "Well, at least part of me is getting some sleep."

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