Monday, August 10, 2015

Overheard

Life is humming along over here. We're in the third full week of school: checking three folders, monitoring three lunch-makers (yeah, I have them making their own lunches), overseeing three morning and afternoon and evening routines. Tomorrow we have back to school night where my husband and I will attempt to hit three classrooms in one night with three children plugged into to their tablets.
 
The older two are making their own lunches. Owen is heavily assisted but still involved in packing his lunch. He's a little gourmand and has packed such items as grapes and raw spinach.  

I'm the taste tester, Owen declares as I'm doing my weekly food prep. Of course you are, dear.

I am hungry, mama. 
I don't have any food right now. 
Then I hear a small whisper behind me ... But you are the food maker.

He's having a great time at school and even picking up some Spanish from a classmate. He keeps telling his siblings "Bad moose." I figured out that he was saying "Vamos." 

Keeping a kid with ADHD on task in the morning is maddening and hilarious at the same time. I send him up to brush his teeth and find him playing with Legos or petting the cat. And he talks so much in the morning. It's as if he's been saving up ideas for 10 hours. Here are a few sample conversations with my ADHD son:

We have to take EOGs this year.
Yup.
I like third grade. We learn new things, like times (multiplication).
Yup. (On the second sip of coffee.)
Yeah. I talk a lot.
(That's an understatement.)
Do you learn more when you talk or when you listen and watch? I ask.
Listen and watch.
Danny, you have two eyes and two ears and one mouth so you should listen and watch twice as much as you talk.

And here's where we go off the rails ...
It's like I have one eye. I can't see my nose.
Uh huh.
Ooooh. What's this?
An empty salsa jar.
Oh, it says middle salsa. What's the lowest salsa level?
Mild. It says mild.

And another ...
Time: 6:45am Coffee level: 0
What's in water?
Um. It comes from rain.
Rain comes from clouds, Fiona chimes in. And a conversation about thunder ensues. Then this ...
How did the world get made? Danny asks.
Coffee level is still zero ... So much talking.

Owen got a new haircut last week.
I have a tent on my head, Owen announces. His father just gave him this haircut ...

I was sounding out words for Owen.
Cuh. O. Buh. What does that say?
Butt. B-U-T-T spells butt.

Danny won't let me have a turn on the rings, Owen complained.
And as Jim was walking to the back yard to sort it out, Owen followed him asking, Are you going to kick him in the nuts? I pray that our neighbor did not hear that!


Fiona has fabulous ideas lately. Our mealtime conversations are quite creative.
What makes a tornado? Danny asked at dinner one night.
Oh, I know, Fiona pipes up. It's a spatula that whisks the clouds around really fast. 
You mean, a whisk? I ask. 
Yeah.
And then the spatula flips the houses over, Jim adds. Oh sure, this sounds plausible. 

And this one ...
Mom, come look how organized my dollhouse is. And look at the attic. That's where grandma lives because she's nuts. She put even put a treadmill in their for grandma. I fear for my future.

Until next time ...

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