Sunday, November 12, 2006

The 20-second panic attack

It's starting to dawn on me that at any given moment we are less than 24 hours from our entire lives changing ... forever. Luckily, the fallout from these realizations lasts about 20 seconds or less. Today we are childless, the next day we will have a baby and be parents. It's a scary thought even though we've had nine months to get used to it. At least I managed to make a decision and actually purchase diapers in the past few days.

Jim's 20-second panic attacks are all about his new job right now. On November 15, he is opening a brand-new corporate cafeteria in RTP. We're hoping that I don't go into labor before then. In fact, Jim has put in his request for me to go into labor on Thanksgiving Day since he'll have a four day weekend. I'll talk it over with the baby and see what we can do about that, Daddy.

Looking back, life-changing events seem to have happened for us in sudden and unexpected ways. Three years ago, Jim was looking for a new job in a very good job market in Maryland, but was finding nothing. Within three weeks of looking for a job in North Carolina, a very tight job market, he found one — after he'd been turned down for a job it looked like he would get. That same fall, we were set to move from Maryland without a contract on the townhouse, which had been on the market for nearly two months in a very hot seller's market. An hour before we left, we stood in our empty kitchen with the real estate agent signing a contract for more than our asking price. As I searched for a job that fall, my resumes went unanswered and I was turned down for a job at a newspaper I once worked for. About 10 months later, I got a job at Pulitzer-Prize winning newspaper — where I worked in college — just as the other newspaper was being bought out and my old colleagues were being laid off.

Those are just a few of the reasons our panic attacks last only about 20 seconds. There are countless other stories that I have deposited in what I call my "bank account of faith." God has always given us what we need, when we need it — and when we're ready for it. I'm convinced we'll all be fine.

1 comment:

Cecelia said...

Josee -
This is beautifully written. You are certainly a changed woman! You have moved from "God hates me and doesn't want me to be happy" to living in His love. 20 seconds! That's awesome. Then you're free to live and love and be loved. How nice!.
xoxoxox
Cecelia