Overheard

I'm always fascinated by how radically the landscape changes in a year with small children, especially when the most annoying phases seem like they will never end. And yet, changes big and small can happen without fanfare and almost overnight.

The baby sleeps through most nights now. The two older ones come down for breakfast fully dressed. I'm out of the poop loop for the older two. Heck, I rarely have to wipe anymore. And I don't even remember when this happened.

Last year at this time, I was probably wondering when my four year old would stop wetting his pants.  Now I can't remember the last time he did. 
My little girl was barely talking and just getting the hang of potty training. Now she gets up at night to go to the bathroom and I wish she would just stop talking so much.

My youngest was just getting up to speed with crawling. Walking seemed so far away, yet I can't even remember him crawling. And to think that next year at this time, potty training may be a reality.

I took a break from blogging over the holidays. Sometimes I just need to stop talking and analyzing and thinking. But I still listen and laugh because if I didn't, well, I just would take myself too seriously. So enjoy the banter.

The poo ring is at least two hours old, Jim declares as he's changing Owen's diaper. I'm going to need to call in a forensic poopologist. 


What? It's not me, dude, Jim tells Owen who's crying over a poopy diaper change. If you'd just poop in the potty, this wouldn't be a problem for you.

Hi guys, Owen says as he sits next to Danny and Fiona on the curb.  The two of them were actually in time out. He's such a kid brother. 


Why don't adults have guys? Danny asks as he clutches a new stuffed animal. He calls his family of stuffed animals his guys.

My nose is running, Fiona whines.
And what do you do when your nose is running? I ask. I'm trying to get her to stop telling me and just go get a damn tissue from the bathroom. 
Pick your nose, Danny pipes up.


So where do you live, Danny? Santa asked him.
North America. I'm actually kind of glad he didn't recite his address, which he can now rattle off, to a stranger.

I match with the mirror, Fiona declares.

What is it? Danny asks.
It's ham. You eat it. It's yummy. Fi has a career in marketing ahead of her.

More conversations with Danny and Fi:

What do you want to be when you grow up? Danny asks.
A FIRE TRUCK. 

Mom, Danny says breathlessly, I went poop and it came out straight and not sploosh, so I didn't have to wipe. Oh joy, my 5 year old has discovered hygiene shortcuts.

Stop banging on the ottoman [with the sharp edge of a toy hammer], I tell Fiona.
I'm trying to make a window. Of course you are.

No. You spit that honey out, Danny yells about a pretend plate of honey Fiona handed him. Apparently, she had taken a pretend bite of his pretend honey. Maybe he was pretending to be angry?

I wanted to beat Fiona, Danny wails. You spit that [food] out, Fi. Oh, please don't.

When our house burns down, we can live with Nana, Fiona says. When?

Santa won't come unless you're asleep on Christmas Eve, guys. You have to be sleeping in your beds, I tell them.
I don't like Santa, Fiona replied with a furrowed brow.

No, the kids are still up. Come back later, Jim tells "Santa," who had just rung the doorbell. The kids scooted right up to bed.

Don't touch me until you tell me where you got that water from, I tell Fiona. She had just returned from the bathroom and her hair was wet. Yes, I was worried that she had put her head in the toilet. It's happened here before.

There's something wrong with this [fridge door water dispenser], Danny says. He does it again and water comes splashing over his cup.
Take the lid off, Danny, I reply.

I did it. I rode the dog. Then I fell off, Danny tells me excitedly. It was such an exciting event for him that he continued: I couldn't ride Bob. I was three then. Now I can.

Happy New Year!