Overheard

This morning, it occurred to me that my older two children are acquiring self-help skills at an alarming rate. This has it's advantages. However, the downside to having kids with mad self-help skills is that they often just help themselves to whatever they want to eat or do.

Sometimes, they let themselves outside. All our doors now have chain locks.

Danny and Fiona both can get water and ice from the fridge door dispenser. They help themselves to fruit in the fridge. Danny even poured his own milk the other day. Our kitchen floor in front of the fridge may soon cave in from water damage.

I'm relieved that my son can now dress himself to the shoes and get his own jacket on. He's even getting very good at matching his clothes. For a while all I heard from him was "It's tricky. I can't do it." I tried to motivate him to put on his own shoes by telling him that when he turned 4 he would have to do it himself. The day after his birthday, I told him to get his shoes on and he told me:

"I can't. It's not my birthday." 

(I totally didn't see that one coming.)

My daughter can now get her own jacket on and is working on getting dressed. She often gets two legs in one hole, but that's to be expected at her age. And when she figures something out, she shouts loudly, "I did it."

I can't tell you how terrifying that phrase is when I hear it from the other room. Especially if that room is the bathroom and the toilet just flushed.


As of this morning, both of them wipe their own bums. I am so holding them to this. We are not going back.

And Owen is chiming in now:

Bob, he said this week. All of our kids have said the dog's name first. At least they know who's important around here.

Daddy said no. OH. You've got to talk to him, mom. He's trying to play us against each other lately. After i I stopped laughing, I gently let him know that Daddy and I are on the same team.

It's steamy. Why did you put fire in [the bath water]? Because i'm just so sadistic ...

I'm going to throw water. Do you want to catch it, mommy? Um, not really, even though it may be the only shower I get.

The moon is cracked, Danny informs us. He then shows us how he sees the moon through the tree branches.

Carry you, Fiona tells me whenever she wants a lift down the stairs. When I was her age, my father used to say to me, "Do you want me to carry you?" And I'd reply, "Carry you."

Hey, Danny, it smells like your room, Jim says as we approach the farm yard at the Museum of Life and Science.

MEAN, Fiona shouts. Danny is apparently still being mean.

Zippers and penises are mortal enemies, buddy, Jim tells Danny after a little mishap with his footed jammies.

When are we going to mask? Danny asks. I know the priest wears a cape, but he doesn't wear a mask, dear. It's called mass.

And what may be the quote of the year, according to my husband:

You put the wrong shirt in my drawer. This one is Owen's shirt, Danny bellows at his father.
Which one? Jim asks.
You know, the little one, Danny says, referring to his brother.
Clearly, we have too many kids here.