Wednesday, February 06, 2013


As you may know, I took a little break from blogging over the holidays. I usually publish an Overheard column on a Friday. However, I'm overflowing with Overheards that I've collected over the past two months.

January has come and gone. We celebrated Fiona's birthday with go-cart riding and pink-frosted cupcakes and lots of Tinkerbell and Hello Kitty. I gave up on trying to have a party for her since her first three birthday parties were cancelled due to illness or snow. We took her to Frankie's to ride go carts and play in the arcade.

We've also started a new Sunday tradition: Hiking. Yes, hiking. With three kids in tow. Even when it's 45 degrees out. It started with a hike organized by the wellness committee at Danny's school on the first Saturday in January. It was a gloriously sunny but chilly day. We took a thermos full of hot cocoa and hit the trail with other families from Danny's school. Since then we've been hiking every weekend that weather permits. Sometimes it's cold other times it's unseasonably warm. The hikes are usually between 1 and 2 miles long. Owen starts out strong, but usually starts whining halfway through. Danny absolutely loves it. Fiona takes her time and is often bringing up the rear.

You know the wild animals pick off the last animal in the herd, right? Jim tells Fiona. She picked up the pace a bit.

What about this baby? Is she going to bed, too? I ask fiona, pointing to one doll who was sitting in a rocking chair.
No, she's the mommy. She'll stay there all night to watch the babies. Right. Because that's moms do.

Look, mom, I found a raccoonship! Fiona squeals. Um, what?
Oh, you mean a bakugan!

I threw the raccoonship into the bathroom and it didn't go in the toilet, Fiona reports. Lovely.

Now Fiona, do you see how clean your room is?
Let's try to keep it this way. 
She looked right at me, cocked her head and said, But, mom, I have to play. 

I'm tired from talking, Fiona wails. And she's only four. Just wait till your a mom, baby girl.

Hey, mom, I put my shoes in the shoe basket for to find them better, Danny squeals, apparently delighted that he is just now figuring this out.

Danny, do you know what they do to adults who hit?
They put them in jail. He pauses and looks at me for a few seconds.
But what if they're doing karate?

No chainsaws in the TV room, I tell Owen who has shattered the room's quiet.

You're getting good at writing small, I tell Danny who has written a tiny 's' inside a circle.
Yeah. You're bad at writing small, though, he replies.
Oh, how so?
You write big, he says pointing to the chalkboard wall.
Um, I do that so you can see it.
I can see that tiny 's', mom.

That stupid old chair. I'm going to sit on it, Danny cries. His brother had just hit his head on the chair. Finally, a child who willingly sits on a chair.

Stop looking at me, Fiona wails to Owen over breakfast.
I'm not looking at you, he replies in his toddler staccato. I'm looking at my foot.

I've wanted these my whole life! Danny got a Polar Express train set for Christmas.

Fiona's kitty doesn't shoot laser beams so she won't destroy our house, Danny says. Fiona got a FurrReal pet for Christmas. It was as close to an electric Hello Kitty as we can find. Three year olds who don't watch much TV are not easy to buy for.

There's a bump in the floor, but we can still live here. Oh, good.

I found a worm, Fiona squeals.
Yeah, worms are good. They eat dirt and poop out more dirt, Danny replies.

Hey, the moss bounced off the house. The house must have to poop. I often tell him when he has to poop that his belly is so tight he could bounce a quarter of it. 

Mooommmm, Owen's looking at me.
Are you looking at Owen?
Yes. Um, well then ...

Danny comes home from school with a half dozen sheets of paper with drawings of cars. So a photo of a different sort are something to talk about.

So your house has a car right up here? I ask Danny, who showing me his picture of a house.
How do people get in your house?
There's an invisible door. Oh, of course.

I'm hot, Fiona wails from the backseat of the van.
Well, there's hot air coming out of your mouth, so if you keep your mouth shut ... , Jim hints.

Mom, where's paradise on the map? Danny asks. Awww.

Danny, get over here. What is this in the hallway? I ask, eying a pile of folded toilet paper squares on the floor.
I was making paper airplanes. With toilet paper. Of course you were.

Till next time.

1 comment:

Monica said...

no chainsaws in the living room...something you never think you will say...or hear!